Post by Tristan Aleona on Oct 13, 2012 16:48:57 GMT -8
Death in Durmstaldt
Mere hours ago the Durmstaldt guard was summoned to investigate a fire in the outer limits of the city. The fire appears to have been started at the home of the infamous Orphan Prince of Thieves, Tristan Aleona's home. In a nearby alleyway, signs of a brutal fight were found. Blood, smoke residue, residual magic, signs of explosion, and even urine were found.
So far only one body has been found inside Aleona's home. The body was dressed in Aleona's clothes, and the ears were cut off, as custom of many mercenaries. With his sister Isabelle having been murdered months ago, it is a safe assumption that the Prince of Thieves is dead.
Guards are continuing to search for any leads, but between the body and missing valuables, it is safe to say that someone killed the half-elf orphan and proceeded to loot the house. (After all, what fool doesn't loot after a kill?)
The city itself feels a mix of anger, sorrow and relief at the thief's death. Guards feel their job just got easier, the underworld mourns the loss of one of their own, but the female population of Durmstaldt isn't sure if they miss him, or wish it was they who killed him.
Any information on the possible death of Tristan Aleona is worth a pardon of minor offense and a small sum of gold. Ask your local guard for details.
Dwarven Noble Gone Rogue
Doronhal is currently under lock down after a member of the Dwarven Noble Clan BloodAxe was caught beating up children. When confronted by Guard Captain Peters, the dwarf refused to surrender and caused a massive explosion in the alley way, killing six guards and injuring 10. Captain Peters himself is currently in critical condition and may not pull through.
Many will recognize Peters for his tireless effort to stem the corruption in Doronhol, earning him the title of "Peter's the Honorable" or "Honorable Pete".
It is clear that this Dwarf is a despicable being, who wants nothing but chaos and discord for his own twisted pleasures.
"What more would you expect from a dwarf? They are violent, greedy drunkards by nature," says Elven dignitary Cael Amari.
Clan Bloodaxe refuses to comment on event, saying only that there is no evidence of it in fact being a Bloodaxe behind this crime and not some lower caste thug sent to defame the clan.
"They would say that," Amari says, "typical Dwarven excuse. Sure it's plausible, the greedy clans care nothing about bystanders, only about increasing their own fame. Still, even nobles are capable of horrendous acts."
Anyone with information on a dwarf carrying a large hammer, wearing chainmail and having a bronze, braided beard tucked into his belt should contact the head of the Advanced Guard, Morris Smith directly. If your information leads to the capture of the fugitive a reward of 1000 gold will be paid.
Rumble in the Desert
A group of mercenaries traveling through Balshor's Pit claim to have seen a bum fighting a couple of Orcish scouts and winning.
"He fought with what was either great skill, or an enourmous amount of luck," says one of the mercenaries, who wishes to remain anonymous.
"I've never seen a knife-ear that dirty," says the other.
Others corroborate this story, claiming to have seen a similar elf saving a caravan from being attacked by bandits.
"I would've helped," says traveler Nonulus P Caratur, the mage of the desert, "But it didn't seem like it was important enough for me."
Eye witnesses also claim to have seen a Satyr assisting the Elf. So we ask, what the hell are a moon elf (so categorized by his triumphant exclamation as such) and a satyr doing in a desert?
One can only guess they are attempting a reenactment of the famous novel "Spine-Splinter Plateu".
Economic Standoff
As if the news day wasn't bad enough for dwarves, it appears that the Dwarves of Gloreft and High-Elves of Avalor are once again at odds.
After the previous issue's story of the increase in mineral cost in the High-Elf capital, it seems the dwarves have refused to conduct business with the city.
"Until Trelenor Abenor both retracts and apologizes for his comments and accusations, the Dwarven Mining Company refuses to do business with him or the rest of Fairlands Trade Commission," says spokesperson Rupert Brighthammer.
As a result, blackmarketrates for minerals and potions have skyrocketed, leaving many wizards, alchemist, and even some mage schools placing orders to Durmstaldt for crafting materials.
Trelenor refuses to comment.
Looking for Work?
Those seeking courier employment should speak to Reynold Buckley at the Skirted Lion's Tavern in Durmstaldt.
Protect the Cheese!
With the disppearance of cheese still high in Durmstaldt, many have been asking, how can we protect our cheese? We asked our resident scholar Eugene Maerar for advice.
Us: Good to see you Eugene. After rumors of your maladious state it's nice to see you healthy.
Eugene: Maladious? I don't know the meaning of the word. I'm fit as a peach.
U: Well at any rate, it's nice to see you in high spirits. So tell us, how can the residence of Durmstaldt protect their cheese?
E: Interesting question. You see many accent texts point to the counter-curse abilities of peeing on things.
U: You mean the people should urinate on their cheese?
E: No, just pee on it. Or around it.
U: You expect people to actually excrete their bodily fluids, on or around things they eat?
E: Sure, I read in a book once that if you pee on things you can break all kinds of magical spells. Peeing around your house could easily stop evil spirits from getting in.
Well there, you have it folks. Pee on your houses and your cheese will be safe.
Want more advice from Eugene? Stick around, starting next issue a new column titled ask Eugene will become a regular addition to our newsletter.
Mere hours ago the Durmstaldt guard was summoned to investigate a fire in the outer limits of the city. The fire appears to have been started at the home of the infamous Orphan Prince of Thieves, Tristan Aleona's home. In a nearby alleyway, signs of a brutal fight were found. Blood, smoke residue, residual magic, signs of explosion, and even urine were found.
So far only one body has been found inside Aleona's home. The body was dressed in Aleona's clothes, and the ears were cut off, as custom of many mercenaries. With his sister Isabelle having been murdered months ago, it is a safe assumption that the Prince of Thieves is dead.
Guards are continuing to search for any leads, but between the body and missing valuables, it is safe to say that someone killed the half-elf orphan and proceeded to loot the house. (After all, what fool doesn't loot after a kill?)
The city itself feels a mix of anger, sorrow and relief at the thief's death. Guards feel their job just got easier, the underworld mourns the loss of one of their own, but the female population of Durmstaldt isn't sure if they miss him, or wish it was they who killed him.
Any information on the possible death of Tristan Aleona is worth a pardon of minor offense and a small sum of gold. Ask your local guard for details.
Dwarven Noble Gone Rogue
Doronhal is currently under lock down after a member of the Dwarven Noble Clan BloodAxe was caught beating up children. When confronted by Guard Captain Peters, the dwarf refused to surrender and caused a massive explosion in the alley way, killing six guards and injuring 10. Captain Peters himself is currently in critical condition and may not pull through.
Many will recognize Peters for his tireless effort to stem the corruption in Doronhol, earning him the title of "Peter's the Honorable" or "Honorable Pete".
It is clear that this Dwarf is a despicable being, who wants nothing but chaos and discord for his own twisted pleasures.
"What more would you expect from a dwarf? They are violent, greedy drunkards by nature," says Elven dignitary Cael Amari.
Clan Bloodaxe refuses to comment on event, saying only that there is no evidence of it in fact being a Bloodaxe behind this crime and not some lower caste thug sent to defame the clan.
"They would say that," Amari says, "typical Dwarven excuse. Sure it's plausible, the greedy clans care nothing about bystanders, only about increasing their own fame. Still, even nobles are capable of horrendous acts."
Anyone with information on a dwarf carrying a large hammer, wearing chainmail and having a bronze, braided beard tucked into his belt should contact the head of the Advanced Guard, Morris Smith directly. If your information leads to the capture of the fugitive a reward of 1000 gold will be paid.
Rumble in the Desert
A group of mercenaries traveling through Balshor's Pit claim to have seen a bum fighting a couple of Orcish scouts and winning.
"He fought with what was either great skill, or an enourmous amount of luck," says one of the mercenaries, who wishes to remain anonymous.
"I've never seen a knife-ear that dirty," says the other.
Others corroborate this story, claiming to have seen a similar elf saving a caravan from being attacked by bandits.
"I would've helped," says traveler Nonulus P Caratur, the mage of the desert, "But it didn't seem like it was important enough for me."
Eye witnesses also claim to have seen a Satyr assisting the Elf. So we ask, what the hell are a moon elf (so categorized by his triumphant exclamation as such) and a satyr doing in a desert?
One can only guess they are attempting a reenactment of the famous novel "Spine-Splinter Plateu".
Economic Standoff
As if the news day wasn't bad enough for dwarves, it appears that the Dwarves of Gloreft and High-Elves of Avalor are once again at odds.
After the previous issue's story of the increase in mineral cost in the High-Elf capital, it seems the dwarves have refused to conduct business with the city.
"Until Trelenor Abenor both retracts and apologizes for his comments and accusations, the Dwarven Mining Company refuses to do business with him or the rest of Fairlands Trade Commission," says spokesperson Rupert Brighthammer.
As a result, blackmarketrates for minerals and potions have skyrocketed, leaving many wizards, alchemist, and even some mage schools placing orders to Durmstaldt for crafting materials.
Trelenor refuses to comment.
Looking for Work?
Those seeking courier employment should speak to Reynold Buckley at the Skirted Lion's Tavern in Durmstaldt.
Protect the Cheese!
With the disppearance of cheese still high in Durmstaldt, many have been asking, how can we protect our cheese? We asked our resident scholar Eugene Maerar for advice.
Us: Good to see you Eugene. After rumors of your maladious state it's nice to see you healthy.
Eugene: Maladious? I don't know the meaning of the word. I'm fit as a peach.
U: Well at any rate, it's nice to see you in high spirits. So tell us, how can the residence of Durmstaldt protect their cheese?
E: Interesting question. You see many accent texts point to the counter-curse abilities of peeing on things.
U: You mean the people should urinate on their cheese?
E: No, just pee on it. Or around it.
U: You expect people to actually excrete their bodily fluids, on or around things they eat?
E: Sure, I read in a book once that if you pee on things you can break all kinds of magical spells. Peeing around your house could easily stop evil spirits from getting in.
Well there, you have it folks. Pee on your houses and your cheese will be safe.
Want more advice from Eugene? Stick around, starting next issue a new column titled ask Eugene will become a regular addition to our newsletter.